I met my soul mate during my freshman year of college. We met on move-in day since we lived on the same co-ed floor and it was a perfect match right from the beginning. This person is absolutely beautiful, brilliant, hilarious and the most caring person I know. No, I’m not talking about my husband, or even boyfriend. In this instance I’m talking about my best friend, who is pretty much my significant other, just without the sexual attraction.
From the time we’re young, we’re encouraged to find our soul mates and get married. Restrictive ideals associated with this aside, this path to happiness is flawed at best. What if your soul mate isn’t the person you marry or have sex with? Merriam-Webster defines soul mate as, “a person who is perfectly suited to another in temperament.” For me, that person is my best friend.
But maybe you’re a purist who believes you get one great love in your lifetime, and your soul mate is the person you’re meant to marry. Need more convincing? Here are seven reasons why your best friend may make the perfect life partner:
1. You can talk to them about anything. Sure, you could argue that you talk to your spouse about anything, too. But your BFF is there to talk about everything from the idiotic thing your partner said to that bad bathroom experience you had at school. You know that even when they judge you, they still love you.
2. You can look gross. And I mean really gross. Honestly, I’m not someone who wakes up early to put makeup on before my partner gets up, but there are things I don’t want him to see. My best friend has seen me in the throes of the world’s worst hangover with last night’s lipstick in my hair and she still wants to hang out with me.
3. They have the funniest anecdotes. Some of the funniest (read: most embarrassing) moments in people’s lives happen in relation to someone they’re attracted to, partner or crush. When your best friend is your soul mate, you get to share all those stories from both of your, ahem, active dating lives.
4. You have the good stuff in common. Otherwise you wouldn’t be friends. Friendship goes so much deeper than physical attraction does. With best friends, you tend to have a lot more of the same interests and passions and get to experience things that exhilarate you together.
5. Your friendship is never ruined by sex. Even in our highly evolved era of dating, this happens a lot in new relationships. With a BFF, there is never any pressure or awkwardness because there is never any sexual outcome. This takes a lot of pressure off.
6. Friendships tend to last longer than most romances. I have had friends a lot longer than significant others. And even when I’ve been married for 40 years, I intend to have friendships that have lasted longer than my wedding vows.
7. It’s a choice, not an obligation. You don’t need to worry about spending so much alone time with your best friend like you have to with a significant other. You don’t need to plan things around their work schedules or niece’s birthdays, or skip your family holidays to be present at theirs. Time spent together is time enjoyed and cherished, whether it’s at a swanky restaurant or in PJs on the couch while you marathon Sex and the City.