1. Why did I agree to do this again? I hate being set up.
“Blind date” is such a weird thing to do. Who came up with this concept anyway?
2. Oh, no! I missed a spot when shaving! Maybe my date won’t notice.
3. I’m sweating too much. Should’ve gotten the clinical strength deodorant.
Okay, well, I’m here. How am I supposed to know who my date is again?
4. My date looks rather put together. And smells nice. Whew! I guess I’ll flirt a little.
Why does my date think this story is funny? Should I laugh to be polite? I’ll chuckle! Yeah, nice compromise.
5. Sigh. I could be watching Netflix right now.
Really don’t need to know all about your hot exes. Please change the subject.
6. Maybe I should’ve ordered soup or a burger instead of this salad. I hate when I get lettuce stuck between my teeth.
7. More stories about those hot but crazy exes? That’s how you want to play it?
*Covertly checks my Snapchat and Twitter accounts*
8. Whoa! Wait a minute! My date just said a total zinger, and I almost missed it! Slightly more interested now!
Never mind. It was only funny out of context.
9. Date’s over. This was fun, but…we should totally just be friends.