Our imaginary boyfriend Benedict Cumberbatch initially stole our hearts as the genius lead actor in Sherlock. Now, his fame has taken on a life of itself and we couldn’t be happier. (More fame means more access to photos of him, after all.)
We’d long assumed the fictional detective in the series had sex with Janine, a bridesmaid in Watson’s wedding, but during an interview with Elle UK, Benedict dropped a bit of a bomb: Sherlock is still a virgin. If you think that means he’d be lousy in bed, the actor says that’s not true.
To prove it, Benedict decided to explain what a night with Sherlock may entail—in painstaking detail. If you’re easily scandalized, you may want to stop reading now.
“You know I’d get the, I’d probably test the latex, if it involved prophylactics, beforehand. I’d do a little experiment to do with durability, length, girth, and um, strength. And um, I would probably take a lot of vitamin supplements to make sure that I could perform, and had had my sleep, and probably not had many cigarettes. Or drink, for that matter. Not that he does drink.”
“I would probably watch a lot of porn. I might have to shave, um, areas to fit in with a modern idea of bodily hair. And then I would be devastating. I’d know exactly how to please a woman, I’d know exactly where to put my fingers, where to put my tongue, where to put my – his, I should say – his fingers, his tongue. Think about violinists, think about what they can do with their fingers.”
“And I’d know exactly how to get that person into it, and get pleasure out of making that person feel pleasure to the point that I probably wouldn’t even have to enter. But when I did it would be explosive.”
FYI: The GIF above is our ovaries exploding.
We’d like to see this whole thing played out for the show please. Our fellow Cumberbabes probably feel the same way.