When I turned 18, my friends took me on a rite-of-passage trip to the local sex store. I remember walking through the aisles and giggling about what we saw while trying not to show interest in anything. The truth was that I was super interested in everything at the store, but felt like I couldn’t look because I was a “good girl” and my friends would never let it go. Fast forward five years and I have a very different mindset and a plethora of knowledge on the subject of sex toys.
It’s okay to be interested in sex toys and it’s okay to experiment by yourself or with your partner. Every body is built differently, and people get off in different ways. Using sex toys is a great way to explore what you like, learn what you don’t like and keep your solo or partnered sex life exciting. I fully understand how intimidating it is to buy your first sex toy, so here’s a quick guide to the basics.
Dildos: Dildos are penetrative objects that are meant to be inserted vaginally and often don’t have vibrations. You’ve probably seen the kind of dildos that are meant to resemble an actual penis, but dildos come in a great variety of sizes, shapes and colors. For anything that’s going to be inserted into you, it’s important to choose one that has some flexibility to it. The vagina is not a straight line, and flexibility will make it so the dildo can follow the natural shape of your vagina.
Vibrators: This category covers, as you can guess, anything that uses vibrations to stimulate. Depending on the shape of these toys, they can be used internally or externally. You can use a vibrator to stimulate the clitoris, your male partner’s scrotum or anywhere that it feels good. Many come with a variety of strength, speeds or patterns of the vibrations so you can find the right kind of pressure and stimulation.
For beginners, vibrating toys are probably the best option because of the versatility and the focus on clitoral stimulation, which is the way that most women are able to get off. And in some cities, you can often find a basic vibrating bullet in the aisle where they sell condoms and lubricant at your local store!
Toys for Anal Play: These are, of course, toys that go in one’s butt. This can be anything from a dildo to anal beads. Unlike dildos made more for vaginal use, anal dildos are not meant to be used in a thrusting motion. Anal dildos are typically inserted and then left there or moved every once in a while or right before orgasm. Similar to all other toys, these come in a variety of sizes and shapes. This can be a great chance to experiment with anal if you’re unsure how you feel about anal sex. When just beginning, it’s best to select a toy that’s small and simple to use so you can start slow.