Dirty talk can be a great addition to your adventures in the bedroom, but there’s another kind of sex talk that’s sorely overlooked. As uncomfortable as you might find it, having open conversations with your partner about what you like and don’t like in bed is the only way to have a fulfilling and healthy sex life.
Let me just be frank: if you’re going to let someone interact with that much of your body, then you should be able to have a say in what is going on.
Ease Into It
You don’t need to bring it up while you guys are driving to a friend’s house or in the middle of a conversation about how sore your feet are after walking around in high heels all day. Try to find a relevant way to bring it up so it isn’t out of the blue for your partner. Maybe you’re using listening to a Top 40 song that mentions a move in bed and you tell him or her that it sounds like something you’d be into. We’ve all heard how much sex is in our media, so use it to your advantage!
Be Honest in the Moment
Fair warning: this might put a slight damper on the mood of the moment—but it will make future trysts so much better. While you two are doing the deed and your partner makes a move or touch you don’t like, tell them. There’s no reason that you should suffer through something that you don’t like—or that you find painful or unsettling. They will appreciate your openness and, if they’re a keeper, give up the thing you dislike. This same rules apply for sharing what you do like. Into some light biting, or have a fantasy scenario you’d love to try? Go ahead and tell your partner.
Remember It’s a Two-Way Street
Opening up the conversation with your partner is not all about you getting what you want—and getting rid of what you don’t want—but it’s also about your partner sharing what they want and prefer in bed, too. Be as open and understanding to what they tell you as you expect them to be for you.