The way I see it, there are three kinds of dates in the beginning stages. The first one is where you both don’t see a future and no contact is ever made again, the second is where you both had a great time and want to see each other again and the third is where one of you has a great time and the other one has no more interest in meeting again. The first two are easy enough to navigate, but what about that third kind of date where you two walk away with different experiences and feelings?
First of all, it’s okay to decide you’re not interested in someone. That is all dating really is: You get to know someone and determine if they are the right person or the wrong person for you. If they’re the wrong person, then you decide to part ways. It seems so simple, because it really is.
It seems that more and more, you’re likely to get ghosted rather than someone coming to you directly and telling you that they are not interested in pursuing anything further. But the person deserves to hear it from the other that they are not interested anymore.
A lot of us are so scared of hurting the other person’s feelings that we say nothing and just let them figure it out on their own, but deciding that you just don’t see a future with someone isn’t hurtful. Ghosting on them, on the other hand, can be. You don’t need to list off reasons or attack the person’s qualities to say that you just don’t see a future between the two of you. Once that’s said, then you can both move on instead of sitting in a limbo where one person still thinks there’s a chance.
Just tell them. Be honest, and be kind.