Sex is an important part of any romantic relationship. Partners need to be accepting and open in their discussions, and that includes discussing when is the right time for you to have sex in a new relationship.
There’s no “normal timeframe” that a couple needs to follow, and different couples are together for all different lengths of time before hopping in the sack. We talked to three couples with different experiences about when they decided to have sex. (Whether that first time was good, bad or awkward, they’ll keep to themselves.)
Feather Magazine: How long have you been together?
Sam + Jeremy*: Six months
Alison + Steve: We’ve been together since 2012.
Hannah + Erik: Four years between dating and being married.
FM: How long did you wait to have sex?
S + J: It was the third time that we had hung out.
A + S: It was roughly six months into our relationship.
H + E: We waited until we were married which was about two years into our relationship.
FM: What made you choose that length of time?
S + J: We didn’t think that it made much of a difference whether we waited or not. There was a lot of chemistry and we just let it move forward.
A + S: We were both virgins and it was important for us to feel like we were in love before we took that step. It just kind of happened once we realized how we felt about each other.
H + E: I (Hannah) had always known that I wanted to wait until marriage before I had sex. Erik had had sex before we had met but had remained abstinent during our relationship.
FM: How did waiting (or not waiting) affect your relationship?
S + J: I think it made us get serious faster than if we would’ve waited a bit. After we had sex it quickly moved into an exclusive relationship.
A + S: There wasn’t much of a change besides that we were now having consistent sex.
H + E: I felt that it really connected us and helped form our marriage. It was one of the things that I gained from becoming married.
FM: Would you change anything about how long you waited?
S + J: No, I think that it’s worked for us and I really enjoy where we’re at in our relationship.
A + S: It was a great experience knowing that I was connecting with a person I was in love with so I don’t think I would change anything about it. Not even the gross college bed.
H + E: I definitely wouldn’t change waiting for marriage but I wish that we wouldn’t have been so scared to talk about sex before we were married.
Care to share how long you waited to get intimate with your partner and how it helped or hindered your couple status? We’d love to hear your stories on Twitter @feather_mag!
*All names have been changed.