I’m very open about the fact that I met my boyfriend on Tinder. If you don’t know what Tinder is, it’s smartphone-based dating app that works through your Facebook account to match you with potential dates. Every time I tell someone new about how we met, I tend to get the same response: “Isn’t that just a hook-up app?” My simple response is: yes and no.
The beauty of Tinder is that it can be anything you want it to be. My Tinder story starts out with me looking for a way to at least speak with other men after a difficult break-up. It reminded me of how nice it was to flirt and that I could actually feel excited while waiting from a response back. Later on, I began to see it as more than just a way to talk. I began to entertain the thought of actually meeting someone IRL (or in real life, if you’re not current on Internet slang). A few Tinder swipes and chats (and disasters) later, I met my boyfriend.
So am I just a strange creature who just happened to find the one man open to an actual relationship on the whole app? No way. There are plenty of people out there looking for a relationship on Tinder, and there are just as many people on Tinder looking for a hook-up, which is fine!
Whenever I’m asked this question about how I managed to find a boyfriend on Tinder I give the same answer: You can tell within a few days what a guy wants from you. Here are some of the clues I learned to look for to determine if someone was looking to just hook-up or actually wanted to get to know me:
They ask personal questions. The questions may start out on the surface, but eventually the guy who’s interested in the real thing will ask you some questions to figure out who you are as a person.
They don’t jump straight to dirty talk. Whether it’s the first thing he says or he starts hinting at it the very next day, a guy looking for a hook-up always ends up trying to talk dirty.
They want to make plans. Someone looking to hook-up will most likely just ask you to come over and “watch a movie.” I was a teenager once, I know what that means. If someone is interested in more than getting under a blanket with you, he’ll probably try to set up plans for coffee, or in the case with my partner and I, a game of mini golf.
Of course, none of these are sure-fire ways to tell what someone you meet on a dating site wants from you. Everybody’s different, and some guys just really like to watching movies. But from my experience, these are definitely some clues to pay attention to if you’re trying to find love in a hopeless place. And hey, regardless of what you find on Tinder, it sure is fun to swipe your matches left and right!