Ah, the breakup. It’s love’s rite of passage and happens to everyone at least once in their lifetime.
Breaking up is hard, whether you’re the breakee or the breaker. Now that you’re an adult and know better than to to drown your sorrows in a vat of ice cream (yes, we said vat, not pint), what are some healthy, kick-ass ways to bounce back from an unexpected heartbreak?
Go ahead and cry it out.
After a breakup, it’s normal and healthy to want to cry and be by yourself for awhile. You need to acknowledge your feelings and release them in order to heal.
Taylor Swift deals with her breakups by writing songs about her heartache. “There’s just been this earth-shattering, not recent, but absolute crash-and-burn heartbreak, and that will turn out to be what the next album is about,” Swift once toldVogue. “The only way that I can feel better about myself—pull myself out of that awful pain of losing someone—is writing songs about it to get some sort of clarity.”
Get back into your routine.
Sometimes you have to just fake it ‘til you make it. If your heart is hurting and the pain is still fresh, going about your daily routine of work or exercise can ease some of the loneliness.
“You can allow yourself 72 hours of wallowing time,” actress Jennifer Love Hewitt toldUS Weekly. “Then you’ve got to get into the gym, stop eating the ice cream and move on.”
It’s still okay to break down and cry when you’re home by yourself, but returning to your routine can help you re-enter the life you had before the romance and breakup…and it’s one way to jump start the process of moving on.
Spend time with friends.
Science suggests that the best way to get over a breakup is to be around friends and family, aka the people who love you no matter what and can remind you that you’re awesome.
“I always dressed nice. I don’t think he ever saw me in sweatpants. I love sweatpants!” Selena Gomez told Seventeen about a former flame. “I always tried to be well-dressed and well-mannered and please everyone around him. …And there was a point where I lost myself completely.”
After a breakup, it can sometimes be difficult to remember who you are, so surrounding yourself with people who love you and can help you reclaim your identity will help you bounce back. And then help you throw yourself a party because you totally deserve it!
Be open to love again, but realize that you’re an awesome singleton too.
Love often defies logic and finds us when we least expect it. Sometimes a whirlwind romance turns sour quickly and a long-standing friendship blossoms into lifelong love. And you can love more than one person over your lifetime. Beyoncé waited eight years before marrying Jay-Z.
“I really don’t believe that you will love the same thing when you’re 20 as you do at 30,” she said in an interview with Seventeen. “I feel like you have to get to know yourself, know what you want, spend some time by yourself, and be proud of who you are before you can share that with someone else.”